From The Heart: Struggles

From The Heart

Struggling? I am, not so much about continuing this journey or feeling defeated, but just that I wish my weight loss was farther along. I wish I was

losing closer to 2-3 lbs a week. I know they say to lose slowly to help with maintaining the loss, but it is just frustrating I am not farther longer in this journey.  I’m not looking to lose 10 lbs a week or even 5 lbs. But I will be happy with even 2-3. Right now I am losing  just barely a pound.

On the bright side I am losing, and for that I am TRULY thankful for! However at this rate if I continue to lose only 1 pound of less, I will barely lose 50 lbs in one year. I would like to be at my goal weight in a year.

I am hoping that by starting this HIIT program I will begin to lose more during the week. I’m working so hard and just not seeing the results I would like to on the scale.

I am also struggling with my health. I had a really good more than two months of feeling as close to normal as I have in two years.  However this past week has been quite hard. I have been having flare-ups again. Which means fever spikes and crazy muscle pain. Which wakes me up in the middle of the night and I struggle with sleep. Last night was one of those nights. I was woken up with sever thigh muscle pain and lower back pain, and just couldn’t get comfortable. I finally got up, took some advil and went back to sleep from about 6:30-8am. Was then up until 9:00 and slept again until 10:30.

I hate being like this. And I pray God will heal me (either miraculously, or through medicine). I am praying for some kind of answer at this point. However, I am NOT going to let this disease get the best of me, I am NOT going to allow it to hinder me from achieving my goals, I won’t let it rule my life, or dictate my life. That would not be living, and I refuse to NOT live any longer. I refuse to be a victim to this disease. It’s my body and my life, and tho some days may be tougher than others, the times that are not, I will push on.

All journeys include struggles, all journeys include obstacles, and we have a choice to either fall victim or prey to those struggles, or to push through and become stronger as people! And I choose to push onward, and to fight to find ways to overcome the struggles and obstacles in my way. I won’t be a victim anymore.

God tells us that we can say to any mountain to MOVE. Well, I am telling this mountain to move out of my way!

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